It’s only Tuesday, but the headlines are already doing contortions worthy of Ripley’s. Imagine Billy Long — former Missouri congressman and one-time sponsor of “abolish the IRS” legislation — now serious contender to run the very agency he’d previously targeted for extinction. If you ever wondered what happens when you cross political irony with real-world bureaucracy, this week’s Senate Finance Committee hearing is your answer.

From “Abolish the IRS” to “Transform the IRS”?

In a twist flagged by the Associated Press, Long’s confirmation hearing saw him fielding some impressively pointed questions about, among other things, the little matter of his having tried to eliminate the agency he’s now nominated to lead. For context, Long’s legislative resume included proposals to send the IRS the way of the dodo bird—hardly the conventional path to executive office, even in Washington.

During questioning, Sen. Elizabeth Warren pressed him on whether a president could legally direct the IRS to yank tax-exempt status from entities like Harvard University—a scenario President Trump has recently championed. The AP highlights that executive influence over taxpayer audits is strictly forbidden by federal law. Yet, Long’s responses displayed all the firmness of a soufflé under pressure: He’d “have to go to the lawyers” and would “follow the law,” but wasn’t ready to give Warren a straight answer about what the law actually requires. After several rounds of trying to pin him down, Warren eventually declared he shouldn’t be “within a thousand miles” of the IRS post—a sentiment echoed with varying degrees of subtlety by other Democratic senators.

IRS Leadership: Musical Chairs, Only Faster

The current state of IRS leadership could make a game of musical chairs look like a lifetime appointment. In a rundown detailed by the AP and echoed in GazetteXtra’s republishing, recent years have delivered a rotating cast of acting commissioners. Douglas O’Donnell stepped down during a firestorm over the Department of Government Efficiency’s prying eyes on taxpayer data. Melanie Krause’s departure followed backlash after the IRS struck a deal to share immigrant tax records with ICE, and Gary Shapley, once famed for his whistleblowing on other IRS controversies, presided for just a few days.

With Treasury’s deputy secretary Michael Faulkender now keeping the commissioner’s seat warm, Long would, if confirmed, be the first Trump nominee actually installed as IRS chief—a fact noted wryly in both the AP report and its GazetteXtra counterpart. Given the agency’s penchant for turbulence, maybe this is just a new kind of continuity.

“Questionable” Tax Credits and an Itchy Paper Trail

If Long’s prior attempt to deep-six the IRS wasn’t enough, his post-congressional ventures have also drawn a healthy supply of raised eyebrows. As documented in the Associated Press, Long aligned with firms promoting the employee retention tax credit during the pandemic, a program ultimately shut down in 2023 after then-commissioner Daniel Werfel deemed it a magnet for fraud. The same reports point to lawmakers’ demands for criminal investigations of firms linked to Long—especially White River Energy Corp., accused by Democrats of luring investors into buying what turned out to be fake tax credits. GazetteXtra, drawing on AP notes, adds that a representative from White River declined to comment on the allegations.

Fueling the senate’s suspicions were also “unusually timed” campaign contributions to Long’s dormant 2022 Senate committee, coming hot on the heels of his IRS nomination. Sen. Ron Wyden, in what can only be called unsubtle fashion, told colleagues, “The American people have the right to know whether the future IRS commissioner is a crook.” The rarely-mourned art of subtlety, it seems, has not often been spotted south of the Capitol dome.

Promises of Transparency—Whatever That Means

Not all senators seemed ready to slam the door. Committee Chair Mike Crapo, cited in the AP’s coverage, predicted Long would be “fully transparent to Congress and the American people.” Whether that means the IRS will be run like an open book or just another exercise in bureaucratic sleight-of-hand remains, like a well-concealed deduction, to be seen.

Long, for his part, argued that working in Congress offered him special insight into “Congress’ intent.” It’s a claim with the flavor of recycled campaign literature: appreciating the menu doesn’t quite mean you can run the kitchen.

As discussed in both AP accounts, Long also mentioned he would soon review the IRS’s Direct File program—essentially a free e-filing service introduced under the Biden administration. He stopped well short of committing either way, merely noting it would be up for discussion if he lands the job. Reading between the lines feels a bit like squinting at a tax code footnote: there may be meaning, but it’s not always easy to unearth.

Stranger Than Fiction, But Ubiquitously Routine

What’s left, after the irony is tallied and the skepticism is factored in? A tableau that’s simultaneously outlandish and routine: a nominee who once cheered for the IRS’s extinction now positioned to “transform” it. Do fire-breathing critics make the best reformers—or just the most creative dismantlers? Can a believer in bureaucratic blank slates lead an already battered agency toward stability?

Absurd as it all sounds, this saga might be less remarkable for its oddities than for its normalcy. In Washington, the improbable doesn’t just happen—it’s baked into the paperwork. Meanwhile, the rest of the country can only watch as the fixture of every tax season is run, perhaps soon, by the man who previously dreamed of pulling out its plug.

Further details and context can be found in the Associated Press report.