If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if the world’s largest strip of stately grass met a mid-tier SUV in the act of “just a joke,” this weekend’s scene on the National Mall serves as a strange, and frankly unrequested, answer.

When a Scenic Landmark Gets the NASCAR Treatment

The prospect of rubber-smoked tire tracks cutting across the National Mall isn’t exactly what comes to mind when envisioning a relaxing Saturday in D.C. Yet, as WUSA9 reports, Curtis Lear, 30, is now facing a litany of charges after allegedly taking his black Jeep Patriot for a decidedly unlawful spin on the Mall’s historic lawn.

The formal accusations outlined in recently filed court documents include destruction of federal property, assault with a dangerous weapon, disorderly conduct, fleeing from law enforcement, reckless driving, and the somewhat niche violation of “operating a vehicle off-road in a way that damaged protected land.” Rounding out this tally are charges connected to endangering public safety and failing to avoid harm to people, property, or any wildlife that may have been quietly hoping for a less eventful evening.

“I Got Plenty of Gas!”: Comedy, Catastrophe, or Something Else?

The chain of events, as recounted by the National Park Police to the outlet, began at approximately 9:01 p.m. on Saturday, when officers responded to reports of a Jeep doing donuts and weaving between Jefferson and Madison Drives near 7th Street NW. A video captured by Paul Neubert—who has apparently seen many things in D.C., but never “some rando…leave the road and race down the National Mall”—shows the vehicle darting across grass before careening onto a gravel path, as bewildered onlookers tracked its progress. Neubert, whose footage later circulated on Reddit, also observed that, despite the chaos, no pedestrians were hit in the wild display.

Drawing on details from witness statements highlighted in WUSA9’s coverage, the driver reportedly circled and zig-zagged around visitors, at one point yelling out the window, “I got plenty of gas!” The spectacle continued for several minutes, with officers watching the SUV parade up and down the walking paths—an impromptu, if deeply unwelcome, tour through the crowd gathered for weekend festivities like Solstice Saturday and the Giant National Capital BBQ Battle.

Amid the mayhem, bystander accounts describe Lear shouting and even exiting the vehicle to threaten nearby pedestrians. The entire ordeal, as witnesses put it, “kept continuously” looping through the area, drawing equal parts confusion and annoyance from those hoping for a more sedate museum stroll.

The Aftermath: Bold Moves, Fast Denials

Once the dust—and grass clippings—settled, authorities traced the Jeep via its license plate to an apartment complex in Southeast D.C., as indicated in court filings reviewed by the newsroom. At the scene, Lear reportedly emerged with candor, rolling down his window to declare to police, “It’s just a joke.” Yet his comedic timing may have fallen flat, especially given his subsequent assertion that he hadn’t driven on the Mall at all and, in fact, didn’t even know where the Mall was. (D.C. locals might find this claim especially creative.)

Despite the dramatic incident, officials confirmed to WUSA9 that no injuries were reported among bystanders or to Lear himself, though one suspects the sod might take longer to recover. The Jeep was impounded upon Lear’s arrest, and he is being held in jail awaiting trial after an arraignment on Monday.

Stunt or Statement? Parsing the Line Between Absurdity and Actual Risk

It’s tempting to chalk up disruptive public acts as misguided performance art or failed pranks. But as outlined in statements from law enforcement and witnesses, the risks here were anything but theoretical—especially in a space as crowded and event-filled as the Mall was that evening. The collection of charges reflects not just a stern legal response, but also suggests a broader unease with attempts to reimagine iconic public landmarks as backdrops for chaotic improvisation.

Where, exactly, does the boundary fall between “just a joke” and public endangerment? And what makes the Grand Lawn an (un)likely stage for sudden vehicular antics? Sometimes, all it takes is one vehicle, a dash of overconfidence, and—for better or worse—a very large audience, to turn the peculiar into the genuinely perplexing.