Every now and then, a crime story surfaces that manages to perplex as much as it disturbs. Local10’s recent reporting describes a particularly head-scratching example out of Miami’s Allapattah neighborhood: a man arrested for allegedly molesting a 9-year-old boy, whose justification—offered, if you can believe it, with a laugh—was simply, “I am Cuban. That is just something men do.” According to the outlet, this statement was made when the child’s mother confronted him immediately after the incident.

The Alleged Incident and Unusual Aftermath

As outlined in Local10, the alleged series of events unfolded at a casual gathering held by the mother’s employer. Reinaldo Reyes Llanes, 67, who police identified as a neighbor of the host, offered his bed to the woman and her son as festivities ended, assuring them he’d take the floor. The arrest report, cited in the same coverage, details that after the guests settled in, Reyes Llanes entered the bedroom and, still fully clothed, “smacked the victim on his buttock over the clothing and then grabbed his front genital area over the clothing.” The mother, witnessing her son turn to her in distress, quickly intervened.

When she directly asked Reyes Llanes why he had touched her son, she recounted to officers that he laughed and said, “I am Cuban. That is just something men do.” The arrest report, as described by Local10, includes this statement verbatim. Later, when speaking with police, Reyes Llanes denied any wrongdoing—a rapid about-face from his earlier nonchalant explanation.

With this, the Miami man now faces a charge of lewd and lascivious molestation of a child under 12 and is being held without bond at Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center, according to jail records cited in the report.

The Illogic of “Cultural Norm” Defenses

Invoking cultural tradition to explain away criminal behavior is not a new phenomenon—though rarely does it come wrapped in such an oddly specific package. In this case, as Local10’s documentation makes abundantly clear, one man’s attempt to hide behind a cultural catchall (“just something men do”) went over about as well as you’d expect. Has a courtroom ever actually bought an “it’s just my heritage” rationale in cases of this nature? One has to wonder if anyone envisions a sympathetic ear at the end of that argument.

It seems almost paradoxical; the defense not only absolves personal responsibility but, in a single phrase, sweeps up an entire community in a caricature. Actual members of Miami’s vast Cuban population—any population, really—might be left staring in disbelief at the suggestion. Are there traditions, recipes, dances, or celebrations shared by culture? Absolutely. But criminal conduct doesn’t get group membership as a cover.

The outlet also notes Reyes Llanes denied the allegations in his police interview, a sharp turn from his earlier, offhand admission. This abrupt pivot raises a curiosity: is this a defense rehearsed in advance, or does the mind simply grab the nearest rationalization in the heat of confrontation? The answer may be more mundane—and more baffling—than many would hope.

Where the Absurd Crosses into the Serious

In stories that seem tailor-made for the “stranger than fiction” file, it’s tempting to let the sheer outlandishness of the excuse take center stage. The uncomfortable reality is that, at the heart of this case, there’s an alleged victim whose experience is anything but amusing. And yet, the accused’s casual remark—delivered with a laugh, as Local10’s review of the arrest documents points out—reveals all too much about the dangers of normalizing unhealthy behaviors by reference to “tradition.”

Does anyone actually buy such justifications, or are they the last refuge for people with no other defense? And what does it say about our society if blaming culture remains a go-to instinct in moments demanding individual accountability?

Miami is a city built from many cultures, a tapestry where customs, foods, and languages wind together daily. But some excuses, no matter how the story is spun, remain as baffling as they are unpersuasive. If there’s a takeaway in this truly odd defense, perhaps it’s that cultural explanations do a better job selling pastries than excusing crime.