If you had “man nicknamed Big Balls potentially joining Rosa Parks and Mother Teresa in the Presidential Medal of Freedom club” on your 2025 bingo card, give yourself a point. As reported by Hindustan Times, Edward Coristine—known colloquially and, evidently, resolutely as “Big Balls”—is being floated as a possible recipient of the nation’s highest civilian honor after a late-night carjacking left him battered but, according to at least one White House insider, possibly heroic.
The Curious Case of Big Balls
Coristine, a former DOGE staffer (that’s the cryptocurrency, not the canine), found himself at the center of very literal street drama in Washington, DC. According to details shared by authorities with the publication, he was attacked in the Logan Circle neighborhood around 3 AM, along with his significant other, when a group of teenagers allegedly attempted to carjack the couple, resulting in Coristine being beaten up.
In a distinctly modern twist, it was Trump-era Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt fielding questions from pundit Benny Johnson about whether this makes Coristine—Big Balls to his allies, critics, and now the annals of history—a candidate for the Presidential Medal of Freedom. The paper notes that Leavitt, when pressed, responded with a cautious, “Perhaps it’s something he would consider.”
It’s not common to find Trump, Elon Musk, and a presidential medal discussion converging on a person with this kind of nickname; both the former president and Coristine’s former DOGE boss have publicly condemned the attack, as also covered in the report.
Medals and Metanarratives
The question at the heart of this story: What, exactly, is the Presidential Medal of Freedom meant to commemorate in this case? Is it sheer resilience in the face of urban mayhem, or the peculiar badge of honor that comes from living as internet folklore? Big Balls already carried a reputation in the DOGE ecosystem—a place where meme and reality regularly swap places.
Traditionally, this medal goes to people whose impact is historic in the classic sense—think Martin Luther King Jr. or Mother Teresa. Welcoming someone notable for an audacious nickname and a rough encounter in downtown DC would be, at the very least, a novel addition to the list.
According to the article, pundit Benny Johnson even cited Coristine’s “heroic actions” as justification for newly heightened security measures in Washington, drawing a straight line from a personal ordeal to public policy. Is that a creative reframing or just another sign of political times? The way this story fuses meme culture, politics, and everyday chaos is certainly something to marvel at.
When the News Is Stranger Than Fiction
There’s something almost surreal in seeing a former crypto staffer with a name like Big Balls possibly eligible for an honor typically reserved for titans of moral courage. Yet, as narratives become increasingly entangled with internet culture, maybe Coristine’s moment in the spotlight was inevitable.
It does raise a curious question, though: If Big Balls is enshrined in the pantheon of Presidential Medal winners, does this reflect the dynamic spirit of our era, or does it say more about the unpredictable ways fate and celebrity intersect?
Ultimately, will Edward Coristine’s story be remembered alongside medal winners of legend, or will it simmer in the trivia vaults, waiting for some future archivist to dig it up and wonder how on earth it happened?
Stranger things have occurred. Just not very often.
