Sometimes the triumphant lottery winner in the news is busy planning mansions or exotic getaways. Then there’s Joseph Greer of Boone, North Carolina, whose ambitions, as detailed by Mark Price in McClatchy News, are deliciously understated: finally upgrading to premium, thick-sliced bologna.
High Stakes, Higher Sandwich Aspirations
Greer, a lifelong appliance repairman, captured a $100,000 prize in a “second chance drawing” for the $8 Million Money Maker scratch-off, the outlet reports. The winning moment didn’t come from scratching off a golden ticket, but rather from entering his previous $50 loser into a drawing that boasted 979,465 other entries. As described in the news release cited by McClatchy, Greer’s immediate vision for his winnings doesn’t require a financial planner—just a trip to the deli counter. “I’m tired of eating the thin bologna,” he declared. “I want the thick bologna now.”
It’s hard not to admire that sort of honesty. After 40 years in the repair trade, Greer’s not chasing after yachts or foreign sports cars. He simply wants lunch to feel a little more substantial. In a detail highlighted by McClatchy News, retirement savings also make his short list, but bologna—specifically, the luxurious thick kind—is the standout priority.
Second Chances and Sandwich Science
Lottery officials told the outlet that after federal and state taxes, Greer’s prize amounted to $71,750. Presented with that sum, one naturally wonders: exactly how much high-end bologna can a person parcel out over the years? If Greer indulges in a premium sandwich every day, does the math add up to a bologna-fueled retirement, or will he run out before he’s truly satisfied? The practical adjustments of a “windfall diet” would make for a fascinating spreadsheet—one can almost picture the column headers.
Reflecting on his win, Greer told McClatchy he “about passed out” and described the experience as “pretty crazy,” capturing a sense of surreal awe. The outlet also notes his win was one of three $100,000 prizes available in the drawing, dwarfed by a single $1 million grand prize, but more than enough, evidently, for a lifetime supply of thicker sandwiches.
The Quiet Dignity of Modest Upgrades
Price’s reporting offers a gentle reminder of how understated victories can be. Rather than pursuing the expected post-lottery spectacle, Greer channels his luck into practical joys—no opulent reinvention, just a comfortable elevation of daily living. In a lottery world often fixated on excess, Greer’s satisfaction with better bologna has a curious dignity to it.
Earlier in the report, it’s mentioned that part of the winnings will be set aside for retirement, suggesting that Greer’s approach balances pleasure and prudence. For those of us more used to cautionary tales about sudden wealth, is there a certain wisdom in only wanting life’s humble upgrades?
From Scratch-Offs to Sandwich Philosophy
Perhaps this story is more than a quirky footnote in the ledger of lottery lore. There’s a sly, philosophical undercurrent: with a sudden stroke of luck, would most people dare change the world, or simply the contents of their lunch? It raises a quietly amusing question—maybe the measure of a man isn’t in the scale of his extravagance, but in the thickness of his bologna. Would a surprising windfall change much for you, or is “thicker bologna” closer to your honest truth than you’d admit?
