Every year brings a new doomsday prophecy, but few are delivered through a decade-long Ouija board chat with a numerically named ghost. Cassie’s ghostly confidant, 7, predicted humanity’s demise for May 27, 2025—complete with cryptic code, historical callbacks, and a callback worthy of any supernatural sitcom: our only hope, apparently, is to stop being “stupid.” Curious? The rest, as always, is in the transcript.